Grammy

Today has been a bittersweet day as I remember one year ago when Grammy passed. It is hard to put into words the emotions/thoughts I have had over the last day. I am definitely thankful that Grammy is no longer in pain, for those that knew her...you know how much constant pain she was in. The last time I saw her, I had a feeling that it could be my last time I saw her so I soaked in all of the moments with her that I could. I let her squeeze me tight and rest her head against me as she hugged me. I listened to her stories of what happened in her day and I let her see more of a glimpse into my life. I treasured that time just for the simple reason that I could be with her and in the midst of severe pain, she still wanted to sit down and chat...not about herself but about me. She went on and on about how proud she was of me and how special I was. I will never forget those last few summer days that I spent with her.

A few months later, the night before I was to start my master's classes, I was talking to her and Grampy on the phone and sharing my apprehension about teaching, coaching and becoming a student again. She went on and on about how she believed in me and knew I could do all of this. She knew I was going to learn a lot and that I wouldn't give up. It was like she knew this might be the last time I chat with her. Looking back, I am so thankful for that conversation as there have been many stressful moments over the last year and when the tears start to come and just when I think I can't do it anymore, I am reminded of Grammy's words. Those were the last words that were shared between us and I will forever cherish that conversation.

I wish I had a picture of Grammy to share with you but I have none to offer at the moment. For now, I will share some things about Grammy that I so loved and/or admired:

1) her "teehee" giggle (which has been playing in my head all day today)
2) her sweet and caring spirit that had such a way of letting anyone in her presence know that they were valued, significant and loved
3) her hospitality and generosity (I don't think I ever in my life walked away from being with Grammy without a gift of some kind)
4) her quiet yet steadfast faith
5) her constant knowledge of what was going on in the world and never leaving out her opinion :)

I celebrated Grammy today. I tried to do some things throughout the day that would celebrate her: enjoyed a yummy chocolate crossant, took a few minutes to enjoy the beautiful fall colors, took some time to tell some people in my life how valuable they are, went to Ross with my sister (yes, Grammy LOVED that place), watched some Wheel of Fortune, took time to just be still and reflect on God and life. These are all things that Grammy enjoyed and things I hope to carry for the rest of my life (well maybe, MOST of these things) :).

Grammy, I love you and celebrate you today. Thank you for teaching me to value the small things, truly caring about others and giggling when it is needed the most. I miss you so but am thankful that you are in a place free of pain and able to walk around with Jesus, just waiting for us to join you. I cannot wait for that day. I treasure the 10+ years I was able to live only a few miles from your house, the many sleepovers at your house, the shopping trips, and your constant belief that I should be everyone's personal shopper! :) I miss you dearly but am determined to become a better person because of you and what you have taught me through living your faith out and truly caring about every single person that ever came in contact with you.